Relate your favorite "So can you give me anything free" stories

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Just as a quick question to see what crazy stories some you guys have heard from customers looking to get something for nothing.  I hope this hasn't been done before :S

I'm sure i heard it all by now... I had this (what looked to be a 12 year old) offer me sexual favors to give he free digital cable was kinda funny considering you can't actually do that..
Another one was someone happend to drop a $50 bill on the floor and i ignored it and then she flipped out at me because i was being a 'asshole' and tried to file a complaint because i wouldn't accept her 'kind' gesture.  haha

Most i think i ever done would be to leave someone a spare jumper or something like that other then that if they want something they got to buy it lol

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lol were do we get started

run free a/o's
bury cable wire to another house
fix computer many times
move everything out of a room to run cable ( packed full room)
move a power pole out of their yard
run 5 drops to house
remove a drop to a house for the guy next door
baby sit their kids
fix their broken routers
fix tv's
cut telco drop off
replace perfectly good outlets for free (like i have nothing better to do)
move cable jacks from one side of room to another in a highrise apt building

people are just stupid

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I am going to modify a quote from Ron White:

"I work for Comcast and I. . . HATE Thanksgiving!!"

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Good Pull CG66!

And in true Ron White fashion. Here's a  !

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My favorite was when Comcast was first rolling out Triple-Play. I had a customer who honestly thought they would get Cable, Internet, and Phone for 1 year for a single payment of $33.

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We are currently doing a system wide audit of our plant.

I disco'd a lady and she came up to me about 10 mins later saying "Why did you shut my cable off?"

It was an Apt complex and I asked her what her Apt number was.... She said y do you need to know that.... Well Duhhhh

She finally told me and I said she's not paying for cable.... She said it's been n since I moved in.... I said well it has been free then now U have to pay...

She asked if there was any way she could get it turned on today..... I said No, Call the office and maybe tomorrow they can turn it on...

She said, Maybe I'm not asking this the right way, Could we trade something, Mind you she was prob 60 and 350 lbs.... I said Ummmm Sorry nooooooooooooppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee

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Oh come on, Slacker, you know you would've accepted the offer!

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i always get the come on, free hbo! question

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She said, Maybe I'm not asking this the right way, Could we trade something, Mind you she was prob 60 and 350 lbs.... I said Ummmm Sorry nooooooooooooppppppppppppeeeeeeeeeeee

In high school we called this one nasty a "PAFAFI Sasquatch".

P=Pick
A=A
F=Flap
A=And
F=Fuck
I=It

I feel your pain though. My first week training a newbie we got hit on by a pair of 275+ lesbians... Oh the horror!!!

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What, they were gonna give you the chance to change them?  You should've been honored.  Shame on you.  You probably crushed their self esteem and gave them a social disorder.

Be on the lookout in Baltimore for a quarter ton of raging psycho pms'ing lesbos that hate the cable company! 

Huh.  That sounds like a warning for a dslr thread. 

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Was asked to go to the pharmacy to pick up prescription for sub. Woman literally had no legs, just stubs. Myself & the other tech that was with me thought she was just screwing around when she was crawling on the floor when she answered the door!!

Was angrily asked why I turned off a woman's antenna, I told her that an antenna doesn't get Nickelodeon among other channels that her nonpay ass didn't pay for.

When doing an HSD install years ago a woman seriously asked where the computer was that we were giving her to use the internet service I was supposed to be installing.

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Probably a lil off-topic, but...

The always popular, "why is my internet so slow?" "Well, ma'am, your computer takes an hour and a half to see a start menu. How much time do you actually have to open Internet Exploder?"

"I don't understand why I need wires for wireless internet." "So... you want me to put a box in your house with NO wires attached, and also want it to do something besides level your coffee table?" "It's supposed to be wireless. Get out."

"Do I need new phones for using the cable kind of service, or...?" "Sir, each of your phones will need to be replaced with a cable-specific model, starting at $89.99 a pop--cash. Sorry, I only have 5 or 6 on my truck, but how many do you want?"

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There is something I haven't heard or seen in awhile "386dx". Wait I think i have a 286 in the attic.  But yeah we get those computer speed complaints all the time.